You've
probably met them before. They're the kind of people who always have to be
right. They just can't seem to accept the fact there might be another viewpoint
out there. You may have even gotten into shouting matches with them before.
What's worse is the fact they seem to be everywhere. At work, at school, and
maybe even at home, perhaps staring at you in the mirror even?
Check your own ego at the door. Is the egomaniac
worth your time and energy? Think of how you can reduce the amount of time and
energy you put into dealing with the problems caused by the egomaniac.
Try finding a point of agreement even if you don't agree completely. So one thing egomaniacs are looking for is approval. They
have a driving urge to win or validate themselves by being right. For example,
let's say your e.m. is saying abortion is wrong no matter what the circumstance
is. Normally you would argue back because you believe there are some gray areas
(such as when the woman's life is in danger where it may be permissible to have
one). Instead of offering a contradictory position off the bat, try making a
general statement everyone would agree with, such as "Yes, all life is
precious and we should find a way to save them when possible." It's pretty
hard for anyone to argue with that isn't it?
Be assertive. Don't let the e.m.'s bully you into doing things you don't
want. It's one thing to make agreeable statements but quite another to let them
to force you to take action you wouldn't have taken otherwise. If an e.m. asks
you to do something you just can't do, be firm. Try to explain if necessary,
but if you don't owe an explanation, don't feel you have to give one. Live your life to the fullest by honoring your commitments and values.
Make sure it isn't you. Do you find
yourself getting into fights with everyone over every little thing? Think of
2-5 important people in your life whose opinion you value and who will be
honest with you. Ask them for no-holds barred feedback. Do they think you're a
little argumentative or always need to win? If you feel the urge to dispute
their opinion during the feedback process, stifle it (this may also be a sign
that they're right) until they're done. Try to remember that one of the
fundamentals of emotional wellness is keeping your own ego balanced and in
check.
Shift your perspective and have a little fun. To keep yourself from letting the e.m. get to you emotionally, you can use this little trick to put a little psychological distance between you and the e.m. On issues that won't make a difference if the e.m. gets his or her way, think about the e.m. as a pet or animal of some kind. What animal do they most remind you of? Does their long neck remind you of a giraffe? Then in your head you can think to yourself, "How do I want to deal with Jeremy the giraffe today?" What do I need to do to soothe his ego? Try not to smile too much lest your new pet e.m. ask you what you're smiling about.
